While Russia continues to rain shells, drones, and missiles on Ukrainian cities and send hundreds of thousands of its troops into a brutal war, the former Defense Minister and current Security Council Secretary Sergei Shoigu is celebrating what he considers his greatest military “achievements”: showers and underwear change.
In a documentary commemorating his 70th birthday "Shoigu 70. Rules of Life", one of the Kremlin’s top warmongers pats himself on the back for ending the once-a-week underwear rule and allowing soldiers to bathe more than once every seven days.
"Why, in the third millennium, do we still wear boots like those from the First World War?" asked the man overseeing a 21st-century invasion launched with 18th-century tactics.
While Russia devastates Ukrainian cities and drafts prisoners to the front lines, Shoigu seems most proud of swapping rags for vacuums. His real victory, apparently, lies not in battlefield success, but in basic hygiene.