Changing attitudes toward Ukrainians as war challenges global comfort

Recently, I had the chance to speak with a respected group of international psychotherapy experts, many of whom have supported Ukraine since the war began, helping the psychotherapeutic community.

What stood out to me?

Since the war started, Ukrainians have become “uncomfortable,” and this discomfort is becoming more noticeable in "respected international circles of specialists."

I’m not referring to the immature belief held by some compatriots that the world owes them something — that’s immaturity or sometimes trauma. I’m talking about the discomfort that comes from hearing an inconvenient truth.

An inconvenient truth presents a challenge and a choice

The truth about what really exists in our lives — the truths we don’t want to admit, because acknowledging them would force us to face difficult moral choices. Do we act on these truths, or stay in our comfort zone and live with the shame of inaction?

An inconvenient truth presents a challenge and a choice, regardless of the area of life it affects. We must confront it: admit our mistakes, change something, end a relationship, quit a job, or leave our comfortable lives behind. Sometimes, we have to completely restructure our worldview and values, which can be incredibly painful.

Accepting an uncomfortable truth requires emotional resources, and not everyone has enough.

For the third year now, I’ve seen exhausted, sleepless, irritable Ukrainians, losing loved ones and leaving behind cities reduced to rubble. It’s hard to hear that many Ukrainians feel they no longer control their lives, can’t see a future, and are gradually wearing down. It’s painful to realize our helplessness and occasional indifference to all this. That’s why, in "respectable" circles, it’s sometimes uncomfortable to be around Ukrainians.

Ukrainians are living proof that the world is unjust, suffering is unglamorous, and civility may be safe but shallow. Truth is priceless but unbearable. And the rules that once shaped our world seem powerless in today’s reality.

So what do we do with this impolite, even indecent, realization?

Be Ukrainians.

Get some rest (it helps with politeness).

Tell the truth, even when it’s uncomfortable.

Yes?

Text published with the author's permission.

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